We forgot what stomach pain feels like, caused by hours of laughter, so we’re so shocked when it happens. We forgot what muscle pain is, outside the gym. We refuse to get out of our routines, we refuse to quit one hour of sleep for one hour of fun. We’re young and dying. We should be young and happy. And when sparks of happiness appear, we don’t know how to react to it, we get scared and blame the high. We go out against our mood, thinking it is going to be for the better, because we see ourselves so “antisocial”, and then we blame ourselves for actually enjoying another man’s presence. We light up a cigarette after a blunt, get home late and pour a shot so we can go to sleep, even if it’s against all our rules we guide our lives after. Because if nobody sees it, it never happened. We forgot to smile back at strangers. We forgot that they’re not as unknown as we think.
So now that we agreed that, when alone, we let ourselves enjoy things we would otherwise feel guilty about, how does that impact us and why aren’t we brave enough to live life, exactly as it is served to us?
Who cares if someone sees you? Why hide? Why are you ashamed of being happy? Do you feel like you don’t deserve it? Because you do. Some feel that because there’s suffering in the world, they don’t deserve the happiness. They deserve the suffering. And while we are all responsible for the energy that rules the universe, we’re first responsible for our wellness.
One does not simply accept the fact that he is here for a reason. He refuses to see it, thus he refuses to accept that living is not such a bad thing. As kids, we are taught a lot of stuff about what’s wrong. Not even once I heard my parents telling me how to have fun or enjoy the skin I’m in. All I learnt, I learnt from my own mistakes and experiences, not that one holds more count than the other. I have learnt that happiness is not a constant state. It’s the minutes you spend laughing after work, the satisfaction of passing another exam, the curiosity of how things feel. Take a plasma globe for example. Get yourself curious. Ask people questions. Ask yourself questions. Knowledge is power. Touch it and see all the energy concentrating around your finger. That’s you, giggling at a friend’s joke, buying yourself flowers, having a Sunday pamper routine, achieving one more goal, setting one more target. Same goes for the eye contact with a person you feel like you’re connected to. You instantly click. Your energies instantly mix. And if you’re like me, you don’t click with almost anyone. But from time to time, someone shows up in your life and makes your magnetic field go batshit once again. It never lasts. Nothing good ever lasts. Or as my grandma said, whatever’s good is either immoral, illegal or it gets you fat.
We have these out of the ordinary experiences with random people and we blame ourselves for them. Nothing more wrong than that. Believe that we meet for reasons, we need people for other reasons, they need us back and so we’re satisfying each other’s needs, whether they are physical or emotional. The emotional ones are the most intense and powerful, in my opinion. They shape us into who we are and who will be, and we should accept them as lessons.
Stop rejecting energies. Stop planning. And stop your principles for letting them absolutely rule your life. You’re human and it is normal to be curious and get adventurous, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have some base rules to follow.
Let it go. Whatever it is, let it go. The rule, the principle, yourself. Just laugh and enjoy. You never know when your last day of living will be, even if you’ll be buried at 80. Not everybody’s alive until then. Some just exist.
Please, don’t just exist. Be the happiness you want to see around you.