Random Blathers, Strength

Little things to never forget

“Don’t just see me, but get to know me. Understand me. Teach me. Don’t just look at me, but dive deeper. Learn about me. Value who I truly am.”

“Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don’t know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn’t you. That isn’t you at all.” —Leila Sales

“Here’s to the ones who have nothing figured out in their lives currently, the ones who wake up each day with no desire to ever leave their beds, the ones who fake smiles and wear a mask each day just so they wouldn’t hurt anyone around them, here’s to the ones who sleep with tears in their eyes and pain in their hearts, the ones who stay inside for days trying to pull themselves together as if they’re a puzzle missing all its pieces, here’s to the ones who find themselves spacing out thinking about how lonely they feel deeply in their bones even when they’re surrounded by all their loved ones, here’s to the ones who are afraid of their own thoughts and own beings, the ones who have to fight every damn day so they wouldn’t drown and collapse within their own selves, here’s to the ones who will look at you directly in the eye and tell you that they’re completely and utterly fine even when every cell in their body tells them to throw themselves at you and scream their pain and agony so loud that you wouldn’t have any other option but to listen, here’s to the ones who don’t know who they are, who feel as if they’re so many people all at once, who cannot afford the luxury of understanding their minds, here’s to the ones who ache silently, cry from within and stand strong as if their worlds aren’t collapsing down on them, here’s to the strongest souls out there, the ones who suffer all by themselves.”

“I hope you meet someone who wants to experience you and not just see you by their eyes. Someone who doesn’t only want to have sex with you but moves their fingers over your body like trying to find a city on a world map and mark their favourite destinations. Someone who wants to experience you like a masterpiece. Whenever we observe a masterpiece we get the urge to touch it and most of the time we do, involuntarily, because it’s so perfect that we not only want to see it with our eyes and forget it’s details later on because I read somewhere that every time you recall a memory your brain edits it bit by bit so we long to experience it so that each part which contributes to it’s perfection stays with us afterall how scary it would be to forget how perfect you felt. So I hope someone experiences you like a summer breeze stroking your hair, like the warmth of bonfire on a chilly winter night, like the taste of that traditional homemade dish by a mother for her children who’s taste forever lingers in their mouth. I hope you find someone who justifies in treating you like the perfect art you are.”

“The thing that hurts the most is the fact that I lied to myself. I wanted things to be good so badly that I made up things to gloss over the bad parts. I know that sounds stupid, but that’s exactly what I did. I actually believed it too. To want is a bad thing sometimes. It gets people hurt. It got me hurt. The world is a lonely place and people will go to great lengths to find someone whom they can be with. Someone who doesn’t think that they’re a creep. Just wanting to be able to talk to someone, that want you do some nasty things to yourself.” -Henry Roll

“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.” —Robert Tew “I’m used to it.” —Anonymous, (the saddest thing you can hear someone say)

“Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they’ve given us. —EMERY ALLEN

Create Art out of heartbreaks, it’s the safest way to heal. Make enough to build a small museum of your tragedies, and show the world how unbreakable you are. – Brooke Shaden

“We get old and get used to each other. We think alike. We read each other’s minds. We know what the other one wants without asking. Sometimes we irritate each other a little bit. Maybe sometimes take each other for granted. But once in a while, like today, I meditate on it and realize how lucky I am to share my life with the greatest woman I ever met. You still fascinate and inspire me. You influence me for the better. You’re the object of my desire, the #1 earthly reason for my existence.” (Johnny Cash to June Carter Cash)

If many days ago Someone asked me If I would take a hurricane over a breeze I would’ve laughed Yes, a hundred times yes A torrent was always better than a trickle, an avalanche more alive than a rolling stone Chaos and the promise of probability it sustained I lived for that For time was running out. The allure of madness, the illusion of sheer brilliance weaved around disarray as a way of life Was all that I had idolised From one tragic love story to the next I was collecting heartbreak and personal awakenings like flowers Except, my sunny days were tearful nights And sleepless hours counted with cigarettes Strewn amidst half hearted resolutions And poetry that told me I was special I loved it I loved the rush of each new beginning And I knew the horror of the endings But I had never known the middle For life was short And middle takes time But time was running out. I met you and I wouldn’t say That lightning struck or stars were brighter Because they weren’t For the first time Stars shone as they should The World was still moving And life as I knew it did not change For the first time I was at the beginning And somehow, there was a middle It was happening to me With no end in sight I asked you, and you said You would take a light drizzle over a storm That made no sense to me I said we wouldn’t last long, the end was near You just said There’s still time. I no longer collect heartbreak In fact, I no longer want to think of myself as someone Whose mornings are new beginnings And nights – some kind of rebirth This is my middle And it’s beautiful The sun and the moon ascend each day And I still go on For chaos spread evenly over a long, long time Is what the middle should be And that’s how the planets were built And cities and monuments And human history Because love only feels like chaos when we count the days And I’ve stopped counting, with you There’s still time, there always will be For time doesn’t exist. — Written by Malvika Arora

“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. This is a total mind-fuck. So I’ll give you a minute to unpretzel your brain and maybe read that again: Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience. It’s what the philosopher Alan Watts used to refer to as “the backwards law”—the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make. The more you desperately want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance. The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you. The more you want to be spiritually enlightened, the more self-centered and shallow you become in trying to get there.

Hyper-sexuality as a result of trauma can happen because you start believing you’re not good for anything else but sex. Because you believe you can’t expect love without it. Because you believe sex is the only way anyone could possibly connect to others. Because sex is the only kind of intimacy you’re “any good at”. Because you don’t know how else to get attention. Because it’s easier to get sex than love. Because cuddling after sex is the only way you know how to get nonsexual physical touch. Because you’re high/drunk all the time. Because you have no libido/desire/attraction anymore and keep hoping that having sex will kick-start it. Because you’re good at sex and it’s the only way to get recognition and respect. Because you were told that you’re “bad at sex” and you feel ashamed and are trying to “get better at it.” Because you have flashbacks if you abstain from sex. Because you feel wordlessly desperate/scared/anxious if you don’t have sex for a certain period of time. Because you associate sex with danger and you don’t believe you’re allowed to be safe. Because you feel so bad so much of the time that sex/orgasm is the only way to calm down or feel good anymore. Because you’ve been re-targeted by other abusers/perpetrators who can tell you don’t know how to say no. Because you’re still with your abuser/rapist/perpetrator and the only way to prevent “worse” violence is to initiate sex. Because sex is physically or emotionally painful for you and you’re using sex to self-harm. Hyper-sexuality after trauma is way more common than anyone wants to believe, and it can happen for so, so many different reasons. These are just a few. —Unknown

“I wish issues with daily hygiene due to mental illness were talked about more. I feel like it’s the elephant in the room when it comes to symptoms of debilitating disorders. So i’m proud of everyone who brushed their teeth, washed their face, showered, and/or put on fresh underwear today. and it’s ok if you haven’t done all or any of those (I know i’ve only done the first two); I’m still so proud of you for managing and surviving another day. Keep going, you’re doing good.” —marcus a.k.a. chinon

“There’s that word again. Need. I need you. I need you to need me. How nauseating, to need another human being, as if their heart is in your throat. Love isn’t about need. Don’t romanticize the notion of desperation. Let me let you in on a secret: you don’t need me and I don’t need you. We can get through life just fine without each other. Love is not wanting to. We want each other, we want skin and hands and all our daily scars. We want intoxication and art museums and intertwined limbs. We want ferocity in our lips and slow, small circles traced on our stomachs. I don’t need you in my life, but goddamn I want you in it.” —Alex Lenkei

“Some people survive and talk about it. Some people survive and go silent. Some people survive and create. Everyone deals with unimaginable pain in their own way, and everyone is entitled to that, without judgement. So the next time you look at someone’s life covetously, remember… you may not want to endure what they are enduring right now, at this moment, whilst they sit so quietly before you, looking like a calm ocean on a sunny day. Remember how vast the ocean’s boundaries are. Whilst somewhere the water is calm, in another place in the very same ocean, there is a colossal storm.”

“How many times do we pay for one mistake? The answer is thousands of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make. But not us. We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and we punish ourselves. If justice exists, then that was enough; we don’t need to do it again. But every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again. If we have a wife or husband he or she also reminds us of the mistake, so we can judge ourselves again, punish ourselves again, and find ourselves guilty again. Is this fair?” ―Miguel Ruiz

“The truth is none of us are easy to date, deal with, or please all the time. We all have our vices, attitudes and way of doing things that make us who we are. You won’t like everything about somebody, it’s impossible. This is life, it isn’t about finding the perfect person, it isn’t about living some fairy tale; it’s about finding something you’re willing to work for, with somebody who’s willing to work with you. That simple, find someone who has a heart for you and never stop fighting for them.”

“Someone once told me I can be as sad as I want just make sure I’m still doing things and that has changed the way I view everything. I’m like it’s fine that I’m sad right now but let me go be sad at hot yoga and be sad while I’m taking my vitamins and be sad while I’m learning ceramics and while I’m completing my tasks. This might sound depressing but for me it’s so elevating. Because I know in like December, for example, I will be able to look at how much I’ve expanded myself and it won’t matter that I was sad in August because sadness doesn’t stick. It’s what you do that shapes your life. And I kept doing things. And I shaped my life.”

“One of the greatest barriers to empathy is the fear of saying the wrong thing or the need to make everything better. Let me go on record as saying (putting you at ease a little bit, hopefully) that when someone has experienced something very traumatic – a significant loss – there’s nothing you can say to make it better. All you can do is to be with people in that space. So if all you can come up with is, ‘I don’t know what to say. I just know that I want to be with you in this. I don’t know how to make it better. I just know that I’m dying inside to make it better. I want to help.’ What we all need when we’re in struggle is the ability for other people to look us in the eye, to be with us, to embrace us, and to be willing to be with us.” BreneBrown

“A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. • Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.”

“Here’s to the ones who are not brilliant. Here’s to the people who question the very purpose of their existence, like I do. To the ones who feel like they do not belong, to the ones who feel they were born in the wrong century, in the wrong galaxy. Those who are full of insecurities, worries, doubts and fears. Those who feel crippled with paranoia and trapped in a meat coated skeleton. There are people like you and me, equally messed up, their souls equally complex and bruised. They too spend Sunday afternoons gazing at clear blue skies, trying to connect to their real self, looking for something to free them, to save them, waiting for miracles while sipping coffee. These people too are lost like you and me, their minds wandering aimlessly through forests and alleys, and places and countries, hoping to make sense of their own existence, hoping to be significant.Trying desperately to love themselves with the self-love they are told is the only cure, but failing miserably, horribly.
So, on those evenings when your body and soul seem like two separate entities, when you feel exiled from the home within your own heart. Know, I have been there too and it will be okay, it will get better. It has to, right?”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *