Mental Health, Strength

Trigger warning

October

This year, on World Mental Health Day, I was not able to get a word out on my blog, in spite of my yearly attempts to raise awareness. My mental health is bad. I am listening to the same song on repeat for days, eating the same poor meals daily because I cannot enjoy new or unusual tastes. I moved out of my boyfriend’s house because I am an impulsive brat and something wasn’t right. I wasn’t right. I did not belong there. I am back at my mom’s house and I never belonged here either. I never feel home anymore. I cannot enjoy anything anymore. I got the job that I always wanted and I never get to enjoy it. I’m too sad to get out of bed and working from home in a global pandemic isn’t working. I got back into school and I love it and I always will till the last second of it but I never seem to finish anything. I am going out with guys (friends) just so I can remember stuff. I tend to forget a lot because of my medication. I smoke a lot. I work Monday to Friday and have school after my schedule and in weekends. I get so depressed when I finish work earlier because I have nothing … Dive deeper

Mental Health, Random Blathers

THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME!

My beliefs are strongly intertwined with my synapses and always have been – and I have read all I could ever find about them. This is not about religion, race, sexual orientation, it’s not about my state of mind. This is for the other selves I could have been but chose not to become because I feel the need of explaining myself in front of my harshest judge – my conscience, my senses of right or wrong and today I chose the right path of rehabilitating my soul and thus I feel like telling the truth and moving on.

I have chosen to become who I am based on my past, which I am not going to offer many details about but rather do an introspection and note down the conclusions.

I have chosen to believe in who I am because my gut never, but absolutely never lied to me. I have had anxiety all my life as a symptom of borderline personality disorder and you would say a borderline mind cannot do justice to itself but I have come to the conclusion that it is the only rehab I have left.

I have chosen to end interpersonal relationship because of the toxicity they were veiled in, and it wasn’t always them. It was me and my needy soul, not … Dive deeper

Mental Health

sos

Dacă erați curioși, măcar acum, în septembrie (National Suicide Prevention Month) cum arată depresia dimineața, la prânz și seara, un simptom al multor boli psihice, de multe ori trecute cu vederea sau diagnosticate prost de medici dornici să prescrie încă o rețetă colorată, uită-te la poza de mai jos și spune-mi de ce suferă fata asta.

Lui Vlad Stroescu îi mulțumesc pentru multe, zilnic, că mă pune deseori pe gânduri, chiar dacă nu stie.

Poate ar trebui să mai lăsăm dracului răutatea și veninul cu care scuipă fiecare cuvânt la 7 dimineața în trafic și să punem cantitatea dorită de zahăr în cafea. Fiecare zi pe rând. Fiecare oră pe rând. Fiecare om pe rând.

Faptul că machiajul meu este impecabil dimineața și am cămașa călcată la dungă nu înseamnă că am avut chef să mă dau cu rimel să arăt ok la muncă. E efort, infim pentru mulți, extrem de obositor pentru mine. Faptul că am unghiile făcute și tenișii curați nu spune nimic despre mine. Cu unghiile alea mi-am rupt pielea de pe oase.

Uităm că trăim printre oameni care o duc poate puțin mai rău decât noi. Fiecare cu ale lui. Just respect it. And ask for help.

Să nu vă temeți să cereți ajutor. Chiar și anonim, mie, pe blog, sau bunicilor voștri, sau unui străin … Dive deeper