Random Blathers, Strength

Little things to never forget

“Don’t just see me, but get to know me. Understand me. Teach me. Don’t just look at me, but dive deeper. Learn about me. Value who I truly am.”

“Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don’t know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn’t you. That isn’t you at all.” —Leila Sales

“Here’s to the ones who have nothing figured out in their lives currently, the ones who wake up each day with no desire to ever leave their beds, the ones who fake smiles and wear a mask each day just so they wouldn’t hurt anyone around them, here’s to the ones who sleep with tears in their eyes and pain in their hearts, the ones who stay inside for days trying to pull themselves together as if they’re a puzzle missing all its pieces, here’s to the ones who find themselves spacing out thinking about how lonely they feel deeply in their bones even when they’re surrounded by all their loved ones, here’s to the ones who are afraid of their own thoughts and own beings, the ones who have to fight every damn day … Dive deeper

Idealism, Strength

Monolog catre Dumnezeu


Știu că nu ne cunoaștem, poate că ai auzit despre mine în stânga și-n dreapta, că lumea mai bârfește. Mi-ar plăcea să te scot la un ceai fierbine, știu că ți-e frig, și mie îmi este. Nu îmi stă în fire să mă bag în seamă, de fiecare dată când am făcut asta s-a terminat prost și evit situațiile de genul. Am auzit multe despre tine. Despre unele – aproape că nu mi-a venit să cred, cică ești peste tot, auzi la ei. Cred totuși că mă știi, că tu le știi pe toate și îi știi pe toți. Nu o spun pe un ton peiorativ, nu, e chiar impresionant.

Mă întreb dacă știi cum arăt, cine sunt, ce gândesc. În ce culoare mi-am vopsit părul, nuanța mea de fard de zi cu zi, șosetele preferate, desuurile dantelate sau pantalonii pufoși dimineața când deger, dacă port aur sau argint (deși mă îndoiesc că-ți pasă). Primul lucru pe care-l fac când deschid ochii, dacă pocnesc sau nu biluța de la țigara de dimineață, după cine întind mâna înainte să adorm. Mă întreb, oare, măcar te interesează? Nu cred că ai idee câte ți-aș spune dacă te-aș prinde măcar o seară, pentru câte te-aș blama și mi-aș cere scuze știind că a fost doar vina mea, și că fiecare om suportă … Dive deeper


Instagrammed // May 2018 in a few lines

May 23rd

I call them growing aches. You know, the pain children feel when their bodies grow? It’s the same with adults when their mind expand and they have to face brutal, real life. And I don’t mean, by any ways, bills or the negative response of a job interview, as I don’t talk about failed exams, as I don’t want to go into the subject of daily matters. I’m talking about the pain you feel when you look into the mirror and you don’t even see yourself. That’s loneliness. When you wake up as you usually do, get up and make coffee, brush your teeth and comb your hair, iron your shirt and go about your day. In complete, deep silence, hidden in some radio tunes you play just so you don’t feel the pain.
That’s a normal morning routine for the most of us, ain’t it? Just so you’re able to function like a, well, grown up, huh? But what does it mean to grow up? Get a job from 9 to 5? Dine with friends and get tipsy on friday nights over long weeks at work and boring weekends? Finish college, girl, or you’ll end up exactly like them. Don’t go out dressed like that, you’re 20, for fuck’s sake. Don’t tell them what hurts.

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