Random Blathers

Spring helter-skelter

May 3rd

Midnight thoughts veiled me again, I’m in pain and miserable. I am looking for the moon that doesn’t exist on my ceiling, nor does it live close enough to me. For an escape that I fear, because the only escape that exists is the one that scares me the most, shivers down my spine. It’s a home I do not want to let go of, but it is not my home. Unbreak me and bring me back to life, because I am bound to you with all my being and all my energies. Tonight I am crying even though you are holding my hand. I am crying under pressure, that you might not hold it next time I will be crying. It s a hopeless cry, it is a cry for help and it is a cry for love – because i love you like i love myself, my soul, my only will to be alive. I’m in pain and endangered, my soul feels unsafe, stepping into the unknown, how do I protect it from me and you? Because you don’t understand, my soul needs to be protected. I would die caring for its well being and to protect it. I would die for my soul. I just hope it will not die along with me. Cause I, … Dive deeper

Random Blathers


Is patience a virtue, though? Faith, hope, charity, fortitude, justice, prudence and temperance are all considered the Seven Heavenly Virtues. So you can be strong, empathic and careful and you’d be virtuous, but I think patience may kill every spark in you. Yes, usually hurrying stuff is not a wise thing to do if not imperiously necessary, but how do you handle the primary instinct that burns through your veins? May it be work related or something personal, haven’t you ever pushed it a little bit and succeed? But haven’t you ever push it a bit and disastrously fail? When and how do you know if you should be patient? Wait for friday to pass and a new weekend to come and here’s how years will pass so fast; but wait for someone, wait for the paycheck, wait for anything good that would give your heart a glimpse of satisfaction and you’ll feel like you’ve been waiting forever. So what if you don’t want to waste your time waiting? What if you want to actually feel like living – or at least, trying to get out of that routine? Because you’ll go back knowing your routine is good, it got you out of so much trouble. Spared you the morning hurry, because you always wake up early enough to drink … Dive deeper

Random Blathers, Strength

Little things to never forget

“Don’t just see me, but get to know me. Understand me. Teach me. Don’t just look at me, but dive deeper. Learn about me. Value who I truly am.”

“Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don’t know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn’t you. That isn’t you at all.” —Leila Sales

“Here’s to the ones who have nothing figured out in their lives currently, the ones who wake up each day with no desire to ever leave their beds, the ones who fake smiles and wear a mask each day just so they wouldn’t hurt anyone around them, here’s to the ones who sleep with tears in their eyes and pain in their hearts, the ones who stay inside for days trying to pull themselves together as if they’re a puzzle missing all its pieces, here’s to the ones who find themselves spacing out thinking about how lonely they feel deeply in their bones even when they’re surrounded by all their loved ones, here’s to the ones who are afraid of their own thoughts and own beings, the ones who have to fight every damn day … Dive deeper